9/11/08

Always remember to never forget…

Atlanta airport I see alot of soldiers coming and going.

It’s kind of emotional for me. They are so young.

Mom is gone

My mom passed away at 1:15am Tuesday August 5.  She’s had a  tough couple of years. My Dad cared for her 24 hours a day with a superhuman love that comes from a 54 year marriage. We flew to Ohio and spent two days with her in the hospital six days before she died. She couldn’t hear or see very well, but she could smile, touch, and say “I love you.” My wife and sister are so cool. They climbed in bed with my mom and cuddled her and loved on her. Mom liked that. I loved Mom’s smile when she knew she was with her family.

The following was written by my sister, who spent 10 days by my mom’s side at the hospital…

To Mom:
You were our #1 fan and we were yours.
You loved us from our births and you loved us till your death.
You held our hands when we were scared and we held yours.
You wiped our tears away with your smile.
When you cried, we cried with you.
You were concerned with our every sniffle and cough.
We watched for your last breath.
It took courage for you to decide to go Home, it broke our hearts.
We watched your body slowly say good bye.
I will always hear your last, “I love you.”
I will always feel your last kiss warm on my cheek.
Your words stopped but I could see in your eyes everything you wanted to say.
See you later alligator.

Well said sis…love you mom and dad.

The Joys of Remodeling

 

  Remodeling as I know and love…

 

1. Contractor says it’s a small project, three days at most…one day in June, one day in August, and one day in October.

 

2. Contractor math…every one day of demo equals one month of rebuilding.

 

3. A kitchen sink and faucet can be classified as a major appliance ($550.00).

 

4. Whoever collects the deposit for the start of the job will never be seen again until it’s time to collect the final payment.

 

5. The contractor’s work day starts at 3:30 and ends at 5:15.

 

6. A contractor’s cell phone is always carried but never answered.

 

7. “I’ll be right back,” said on Wednesday actually means, “I’m done for the week.”

 

8. Cabinets will always be hung before the ceiling is finished being painted or plastered.

 

9. Plastered does not always mean drywall.

 

10. Talking on the phone, or to the homeowner, counts as “work.”

 

11. Black appliances will never be in stock no matter how many are on the showroom floor.

 

12. Braided wire cable is worth the extra money for a water line on a washing machine.

 

13. Laminate wood floors are slippery when wet.

 

14. Sanding drywall leaves a lovely protective covering of dust on everything, within a 1400 square foot ranch.

 

15. Construction debris in the driveway is preferable to a dumpster.

 

16. Number 8 screws go nicely with a radial tire.

 

17. Open door policy takes on a whole new meaning when a contractor has your key.

 

18. Furniture will be moved at their convenience, not yours.

 

19. Three trips to Home Depot in two hours counts as “work.”

 

20. One four door extended cab diesel pickup truck can effectively block three cars in one driveway.

 

21. A contractor who is “working” can not be bothered to move his pickup truck out of said driveway.

 

22. Drywall “mud” smells like rotten eggs even after it’s painted.

 

23. Linoleum floors are glued down with the same material that bonds the heat shield on the space shuttle.

 

24. Adhesive remover only kills the weak brain cells.

 

25. It is hard to sleep with the smell of adhesive remover stuck in your nose.

 

26. You can actually taste the smell of adhesive remover after 3 hours in an air conditioned house.

 

27. You can actually get used to old appliances sitting in the driveway.

 

28. The mail box will get backed over, so buy a new one at the start of any remodeling project.

 

29. There is a 15:1 ration to the amount of work you have to do to what the contractor does.

 

30. Do not ever agree to hang the new ceiling fan to save on the installation costs.

 

31. A ceiling fan will go right thru a leather couch after falling 18 feet while running.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

101 Things I do, can do, or have do…

1. Draw and sell a caricature in 2 minutes or less.

2. Perform a 45 minute magic show in front of 200 people.

3. Been evaluated and tested to be a kidney donor.

4. Entertain 15 second graders at a birthday party.

5. Have been a paid professional ski patroller in Colorado.

6. Can start an IV in the back of an ambulance.

7. Have been carsick in the back of a moving ambulance.

8. Build furniture by just looking at a picture.

9. Married to a kidney donor.

10. Have a brother who is married to a kidney donor.

11. Father to a kidney receipent.

12. Have drawn thousands of live event caricatures.

13. Attended and dropped out of art college.

14. Am allergic to latex and leather…write your own punchline.

15. Park ranger in Rocky Mountain National Park…smokey the bear hat and everything.

16. Taught classes at Ohio State University on boomerangs.

17. Can catch a boomerang with my feet.

18. Can ride a bicycle backwards.

19. Performed as Karl Lindner in the play, “Raisin in the Sun”…a really mean man.

20.  Play a clairinet.

21.  Know all the words to Elton John’s, “Bennie and the Jets.”

22. Traveled to another country to have Laskik surgery…cheaper in Canada.

23. Performed CPR on three different people…one lived, two didn’t.

24. Found my youngest brother lying in a ditch, murdered.

25. Perform sleight-of-hand magic professionally.

26. Have sold several thousand pieces of original artwork.

27. Can juggle three balls, two bowling pins… and my schedule.

28. Perform as a Gnome at renaissance fairs.

29. Own a really cool, tall, pointed, red gnome hat…and wear it in public.

30. Passed up the chance to buy a mint Shelby GT500 mustang for $3500.00 in 1977.

31. Have been kicking myself for passing up said Shelby since 1978.

32. Trying to raise two teenage boys without having a clue on how to do it.

33. Took 14 years to let my wife and kids talk me into getting a family dog…stupid me.

34. Got my front tooth knocked out playing football…stupid me.

35. Pray in front of a group, large or small.

36. Cry

37. Fix an engine on a commercial aircraft…at night, in the rain.

38. Solo an aircraft at age 17.

39. Cook liver and onions…not eat, just cook.

40. Grow a beard in 5 days…in seventh grade.

41. Met my wife in a laundromat 20 years ago…I liked her lingerie.

42. Have stopped a biopsy surgery, on the table..not confident with the doctor.

43. Traveled 1200 miles to go to the Norman Rockwell museum.

44. Carried a gun because of threats to my family.

45. Almost moved to my second favorite state…Vermont.

46. Moved to my favorite state…Colorado.

47. Helped my son catch an 8 pound bass…on a scooby-doo fishing pole.

48. Camped in most major National Parks in the western United States.

49. Slept poorly in most major National Parks in the western United States.

50. Am fascinated by Niagara Falls.

51. Will never ride a roller coaster…again.

52. Prefer straight lines to circles.

53. Can administer a shot with doctor’s orders.

54. Been debt free…if only momentarily.

55. Earned $1.65 an hour to $100.00 an hour…and everything in between.

56. Read 450 pages in one night…Stephen King.

57. Wrote an unpublished book about my favorite tv program…MASH.

58. Been profiled by the Atlanta Journal and Constitution newspaper…”Why I love my Job.”

59. Professional caricature artist.

60. Professional magician.

61. Raised money for Transplant organizations.

62. Can play a strumstick…anybody can!

63. Perform street magic shows at the Georgia Renaissance Festival.

64. Draw 140 caricatures in 4.5 hours…with help from my wife and sons.

65. Understand what blood tests mean for BUN and Creatine.

66. Believe in generosity…giving and receiving.

67. Made $5500.00 in 19 days…spent it all in one week.

68. Hold five notebooks full of my mother’s memoirs.

69. Kept a one year diary of my oldest son’s first year.

70. Drove 82 miles to work, one way…for 15 months.

71. Lived off my wife’s earnings while in school full time.

72. Internet Christmas shopping…well, okay, maybe year-round internet shopping.

73. Wrote a five page poem covering 20 years of our lives…to my wife.

74. Gained 20 pounds, lost 20 pounds, gained 15 pounds, lost 15 pounds…sound familiar?

75. Kiss my teenage boys on the lips and tell them I love them…just a peck.

76. Kiss my wife on the lips and tell her I love her…more than a peck.

77. Paid for guitar, piano, and drum lessons…own a guitar, piano, and drum.

78. Stood nose-to-nose with original Van Gogh paintings…I blinked first.

79. Attended every show for my wife’s acting debut…10 shows over three weekends.

80. Dye my wife’s hair for her…still red.

81. Lose a running race to my 13 year old son.

82. Lose a pair of reading glasses to my 50 year old memory.

83. Loved one kitten in my entire life…Spaz.

84. Eat 10 pounds of crablegs with my wife and two sons…we came up short.

85. Dye my hair black…seemed like a good idea when we started.

86. Paid $275.00 for one night in a beautiful condo with my family…my 50th birthday.

87. Estes Park, Colorado is my home away from home.

88. Traded a magic show for 20 pounds of fresh salmon…elementary school in Homer, Alaska.

89. Traded a magic show for two oil changes…local country church, never redeemed them.

90. Look in my son’s eyes…the bluest blue you will ever see.

91. Attend my wife’s college graduation…you go girl.

92. Bring my son home from his kidney transplant…scary.

93. Learn how to give him all his medications…scarier.

94. Sit with my son in the hospital for two weeks with complications…scariest.

95. Receive a call in the night that your brother is being LifeFlighted…he recovered.

96. Watch your wife involved in a traffic accident…in your rearview mirror.

97. Be humble.

98. Overreact with anger…I’m trying.

99. Let God down…but HE forgives me.

100. Change policy at a major insurance company.

101. Disc jockey for WLNO, with a Saturday night show.